This crown’s too heavy!!!

I wrote this blog last summer for another site, wanted to share it here.

Let me state for the record, here and now, that I am not a morning person. Never at any point in my life was I a morning person, never will I be a morning person. This limits my options in life, I could never be a farmer, school bus driver, or a biscuit maker in a fast food restaurant. I've accepted this and have learned to enjoy life despite the handicap that comes with being lazy. So with this in mind after awakening at 6:30 am, each and every minute of my morning is very much accounted for. So to my dismay this very morning, my wonderful procreation decides she should wake at 6:30 to accompany me while I prepare for the day's tasks. Let me state for the record that my daughter is very much a morning person and is very inquisitive at evern the earliest hours. You see my girl will one day be a lawyer, detective or the next Perez Hilton, because if she needs answers she gets them. She tends to set me back in the mornings if she's awake and this morning was full of distractions. Our morning conversation went like this.

Lily: Mommy is it morning?

Me: No, go back to sleep.

Lily: But you're up, Mommy.

Me: No, go back to sleep.

Lily: I think it is morning, Mommy are you sure?

Me: It is still dark, go back to SLEEP.

Well after that rousing encouragement to stay asleep she was still up and ready to conquer the world. So I stagger on to the bathroom, to take a bath. I'm a morning bath person, I know that's strange but that's me, so I digress. As I'm cleansing my stress away with Calgon, (normally this is done at the end of the day, take what you will from this) little angel face is talking a mile a minute. IN the midst of her monologue I ask her to begin getting dressed for the day. She scurries off to her room and I take this opportunity to get out of the tub and dry off. I knew the approximate time she would need would be around 25 seconds, so I moved fast. So as I'm wrapped in a towel, here comes miss priss, still in her gown but with a few new accessories. She has on a necklace, and a crown hanging from her waist. Now I'm not quick to judge people on their fashion choices, after all I did grow up in the 80's, but even I couldn't figure out the concept of a crown belt. Without hesitation she begins to tell me she's a princess today. I interrupt her to tell her she still needs clothes on. Her response, " I want to be a beautiful princess." So being an encouraging mother I retort "you're always a beautiful princess." Yep, she'll thank me for those comments when she's 12 and puberity hits, and she realizes what self-image is and how it will impact her life forever. After I glean in this maternal accomplishment I go to help her find princess clothes. It is here where she informs me "Mom, my crown's too heavy, it don't fit." I too have this problem from time to time, so I could relate. I mean can't we all?
I'll spare the rest of the details because this is getting longer than War and Peace but the rest of the morning went like this.

While Brushing my teeth.

Lily: Do princesses brush their teeth?

Me: Yes, they have pretty teeth and need fresh breath for frog kissing

Lily: Are you sure? (excited that she may actually get to kiss a frog)

Me: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

While getting dressed.

Lily: Do princesses get married?

Me: Yes, they marry princes.

Lily: But, I want to marry you, Mommy.

Me: You can't marry a mommy, you have to marry Conner.

Lily: You can marry Conner, mommy, I'm gonna marry daddy. Then we can all move into that

big house you want daddy to buy. (Well at least she's heard something I've been preaching)

Packing my lunch.

Lily: Do princesses have horses?

Me: I guess some of them do, if they have a barn.

Lily: Mommy, will you buy me a horse?

Me: :::Silence::: (I'm extremely exhausted at this point)

Trying to get out the door:

Me: Lily get your shoes on.

Lily: Do princesses wear "cwocs"?

Me: Yes, everyone wears crocs, even the president.

Lily: What's a pwesirent?

Me: Nevermind, Lily it's time to go, get moving.

Lily: That's PRINCESS Lily.

Me: I stand corrected, how could I be so silly.